Sadness is a primary emotion of the human condition. It is that distance between you and something that appear, or maybe really will, complete you. Sometimes sadness is a reminder to look for a better way to do something, but sadness indulged in becomes self-pity. Sadness, contemplated over a period of years, can become an excuse for a lack of will or an acceptance of low standards.
Is happiness the true opposite of sadness? In the momentary sense, yes, but simple euphoria that passes quickly is not the true opposite of sadness. Such momentary exuberance is often married to sadness itself, as its coming is often associated with sadness’ arrival and long stay. In some way, completeness is the true opposite of sadness. Being a whole being allows one not to indulge in the throngs of self-pity but reside in the comforts of a true, well-formed self.
And the time of year my writer’s block gets as bad as it ever does. My focus is divided, and the last thing I want to do is plop down at my computer during the middle of football season and waste my energy on a post that no more than 30 people will read by this Christmas.
But here I am.
I sweated and toiled all summer. I gardened and froze and pickled until the life flowed out of me. I mowed, in essence, three lawns. Now, I’m picking apples from a neighbor’s tree. (If you live near Seward or Lincoln, you’re welcome to have some.) All the while, I’ve kept up an active travel schedule that’s left me feeling like I have nothing left to give. And, with all this running around, I’ve felt that I haven’t needed to share it with anyone. Which has lead me to the question, do I need to consider doing something else with my time, maybe even a major life change? d
In my adult life, my actions indicate that I want my daily routines to change as little as possible. Yes, I run through different causes and jobs, but the basic routine of kitchen work/writing/household choirs, all of that has stayed the same. I try not to cling to things (hey, people tear it up and move all the time), but homeostasis gives me a lot of peace. A lot. Maybe even too much.
One more trip, and I won’t be making the long circle through Iowa and Illinois. Eventually, there won’t be apples to pick, and the garden will be winterized. After that, who know what I’ll do.