The Little Space

Driveway is always there.

I met with a personal adviser on an ongoing basis. In these meetings, I detail my daily interactions in an effort to change my behaviors.

These conversations take me to daily places. Every time I encounter a decision, there is a small space in my head where two options arise. First option, the bad decisions I always make. After the fact, I will tell myself that I didn’t have any self-control. I did what I always did, and I can’t say the right thing. I can’t say the positive thing. I can’t make it about the other, and not about me.

Then there’s the right option. When it comes into my head, I just have to take it. Yes, usually it takes a bit more effort, but I always pose the question: do I really want to stay down in the dumps, blaming myself all the time? Do I really want to be lonely, and say that it was someone else’s fault? Or do I go out, and find the places in the world where I can make a difference?